Anyway, my beloved Edgar Dog has left this world. I can’t even describe the hole in my heart left in his place. I’m working hard to go through the motions and find joy in little things but at the end of the day, when it’s deafeningly quiet without his sighs and snuffles and the tippity tap of his nails on the floor, I just feel sad. As I look for him so we can go to bed, and then realize that there is no “we” anymore...just me. Joey works restaurant hours and is gone most nights. It’s just me and little Memphis and after I put him to bed, and sit with my thoughts, I remember that I’m actually afraid of the dark...I’d forgotten for the last 12 years because I was never scared with Edgar. When I think that I’ll never hear him impatiently ring the bells to go outside, that Memphis will not remember him, that the black sweater wadded on the bed is not him, I can hardly bear it. I know one day my heart will heal and there will be more dogs to mourn, but today I just miss my Edgar.
Run Free My Good Boy
Edgar Osmond MacGregor
June 17, 2007 - November 14, 2019